Nitro Circus World Games Scootering Coverage

Terry Price “Trick Dice” Overtakes Monopoly As The Highest Selling Dice Based Game!

#yolowarrior is trending worldwide as the release of Terry Price’s trick dice smashes sales records, overtaking such staple name dice based games such as your mother’s favorite Thursday night board game Monopoly overnight.

We asked Terry a few questions about the success of his new product:

Mike: So Terry, you have become an overnight sensation, how does that make you feel?

Terry: Well, it feels awesome! Since my riding washed up around 09’ I’ve been trying so many different ways to keep my reputation up.

Mike: That’s great to hear man! Do you feel bad at all that you are severely overcharging kids for worthless pieces of crappy plastic that they could make them self, for less than half the price these things are retailing at?

Terry: Not at all! I mean, each bag comes personally signed by me, so that obviously is where the value of each set of dice is!

Mike: So what’s next with your #yolowarrior ventures Terry?

Terry: I’m hoping to release an iPhone app next, that is like Instagram, but I’m going to call it, “Terry-Gram”, where kids can post and share photos of me, and me only.

So there you have it everyone, keep an eye out for Terry Price’s Trick Dice, and take out a small loan to get yourself a set!

15 Excuses For Your Shitty Video

1.)"Every clip was first try."

2.) "My hard drive got erased so I lost all the footy I stacked."

3.)  "It's actually called a 'Tokyo Drift' and it was on purpose."

4.) "It doesn't seem like much but that three stair is WAY gnarlier in person."

5.) "No but it's a different remix of that Imagine Dragons song."

6.) "I broke my deck so filming was cut short."

7.) "I got sand in my vagina so I couldn't ride for a while."

8.) "Like half of it was switch."

9.) "That back board was pegless."

10.)"You don't get it the GoPro quality audio totally needed to be in it."

11.) "It's about the creativity not the trick itself (adjusting Dickies)."

12.) "No I split the clip so it would match the song better, not because I didn't land the trick or anything."

13.) "But it's a park video."

14.) "But it's a street video."

15.)   "I actually didn't heeldrag the first time I landed it but the filmer forgot to press the record button."

Jordan Clark's Top 10 Gnarliest Instagram Photos

Many people know of Jordan Clark's skills on the scooter, winning the past two ISA World Championships, but how many know of his skills off the scooter? Jordan kills it in the Instagram game, posting frequently and amassing a 120k follower fan base (with a fucking dope follow to follower ratio).  Jordan is living proof that with time and dedication anything is possible, do you think Jordan would be the #1 scooter rider in the world if he spent all his time riding and filming sick video parts? Hell no. He knows what it takes to be the best, and is willing to put in the time on his phone to be the best.

Last December Clark landed the world's first 540 double flair, a trick which park riders have dreamed of for generations. Instead of waiting and wasting time filming for a video to put the trick in, Jordan went and posted an iphone recording of another camera playing the clip to his instagram. This is the kind of dedication the sport needs more of, and here at The Stripped Clamp we couldn't be more proud of Jordan.

We could go all day talking about how sick Jordan's Instagram is, or we could show you, here's Jordan Clark's Top 10 GNARLIEST Instagram Photos.

10.) Woah! Crazy!

A photo posted by Jordan Clark 1⃣7⃣ (@jordanclark14) on May 13, 2016 at 9:49am PDT

9.) Insane!

@ruggedobsession thank you for my new top and hoodie 👌🏻 follow @ruggedobsession @ruggedobsession #doubletap 😏😏

A photo posted by Jordan Clark 1⃣7⃣ (@jordanclark14) on Jul 10, 2016 at 1:05pm PDT

8.) Nice suit!

All suited and booted for tonight for the awards in London ! Place making awards #doubletap 😏

A photo posted by Jordan Clark 1⃣7⃣ (@jordanclark14) on Jun 23, 2016 at 8:28am PDT

7.) Cool!

😕

A photo posted by Jordan Clark 1⃣7⃣ (@jordanclark14) on Jun 8, 2016 at 10:14am PDT

6.) Jordan is UNSTOPPABLE!

#doubletap 👌🏻😏

A photo posted by Jordan Clark 1⃣7⃣ (@jordanclark14) on Jun 6, 2016 at 4:31am PDT

5.) Putting in the hours.

ITS MY BIRTHDAY 💥💥🎉🎉

A photo posted by Jordan Clark 1⃣7⃣ (@jordanclark14) on Jun 1, 2016 at 1:47am PDT

4.) Killer haircut dude!

Thanks @antjordanthebarber for the fresh trim ! Follow him @antjordanthebarber @antjordanthebarber

A photo posted by Jordan Clark 1⃣7⃣ (@jordanclark14) on May 17, 2016 at 10:08am PDT

3.) Whats gunna go down? Can't wait to see.

Go follow @connorgosdenphotography get him 1k followers and we will tell you what's gunna go down ? @connorgosdenphotography

A photo posted by Jordan Clark 1⃣7⃣ (@jordanclark14) on Apr 20, 2016 at 1:44pm PDT

2.) THIS MAN IS ON A MISSION.

😏😊👌🏻 @michaelstancomb 📷📷📷

A photo posted by Jordan Clark 1⃣7⃣ (@jordanclark14) on Mar 25, 2016 at 7:18am PDT

1.) Here it is, the gnarliest picture on Jordan Clark's instagram, chase those dreams Jordan!

@iskuteboard

A photo posted by Jordan Clark 1⃣7⃣ (@jordanclark14) on Mar 6, 2016 at 9:50am PST

Dylan Morrison, Smokes Weed For The First Time, Becomes Street King!

In a shocking turn of events, every 10 year old's hero, Dylan Morrison, quit Apex...
We recently spoke to Dylan about this catastrophe that rocked the scooter scene in Australia; he had the following to say about the incident.

"Yeah man, I don't know, I was out at a party with a couple of guys that ride street, and they handed me my first joint. Apparently I didn't do it right, but I felt it man. While I was trippin' on some straight G, I had an epiphany, that I couldn't be the street king if I was riding for Apex.
The day after my first marijuana, instead of catching the bus to my local, I decided to ride there instead. Whilst cruising the street I found this gnarly 3 stair hand rail and decided to hit it up. I was nervous.... I'd never hit something quite like this before. To ease my nerves, I pulled out the poorly rolled J-izzle out of my back pocket and ripped it straight thugg'n. On the first initial in-hail my vision widened, my brain focused.... anyway.. I board-slid the shit out of the handrail and rode away a new man.
I was no longer focusing on the next whip I could add to my buttercups, I ain't 'bout that life no more. I had a new goal and that was to become the next street elite-est. Fast forward a few days and I had parted ways from Apex, DSLR Cameras, my pads, my kickless' and my daily showering. I quickly hopped online and ordered some Dickies and second hand clothing.
I needed these things if I wanted to show all the real street dogs out there I ain't playing around and I'm here to slay. Already prepping to take out the crown at the next big street jam."

At this point, Dylan kept rambling to his tin foil crown he had made, but we left him under the bridge he had set up camp at.

Good luck to Dylan with his future ventures...

Little Kid With Bike Helmet Announces Plan To Fuck Up Your Line

FITCHBURG, MA- Sources have confirmed that local skatepark inhibitor, Tucker Collins has announced his plan to fuck up your shit.
The six year old Leominster native can often be seen riding his weird three-wheeled thing around at the Fitchburg Skatepark, located in Fitchburg Massachusetts, while his mom sits by on a local bench playing 'Candy Crush Saga' on her phone.
Collins stated "It's really a quite simple plan actually. First I'm going to ride my weird three wheeled thing in circles around the bottom area of the transition, maybe even carving up the transition (anywhere between 6" and 1'), just to make sure nobody can get a run in without worrying about me. Then, I'll ride up to where everybody is rolling in to take a run, just to make it seem like I'm going to stop, and then I'll turn back around and go back to riding in circles.
If I see anyone trying to film a line I'll focus them more heavily, possible even falling right in front of where they're trying to ride,  I'll lay down and cry for... anywhere between five and fifteen minutes, depending on how long I feel I can milk it.
 It's great, my mom will come over and yell at everyone trying to ride for not watching out for me, I might even ask my mom what a rimjob is and say I overheard it from the teenagers trying to film, she'll go off on them."
It seems there is a big and bright future for Tucker. We asked him if there's anything he'd like to add to the matter, to which he told us "I'd like to thank my mom, without her parental incompetence and irresponsibility, none of this would ever be possible."

Zack Martin's Patagonia Vest Revealed to Have Super Powers

Vista, Ca. Professional scooter rider Zack Martin was recently exposed as using performance-enhancers when he rides scooters. The drug? His Patagonia Synchilla fleece vest. Apparently, the vest has magic powers, as it had a spell cast on it by a Haitian witch-doctor. Whenever Zack does a trick, the vest enhances his ability on rails, gaps, ledges, walls, transition, and even flatground.  When confronted about the vest, Zack had no response. It is unknown how it got into his possession. In a recent interview with Zack's sponsor, Proto Scooters, it was revealed that Zack will NOT be removed from the team. Why? "Because nobody else has that jacket," says spokesperson Andrew Broussard. However, it has been noted that all of Zack's footage will feature a discliamer informing the viewer about the vest.

Urbanartt Leaves the City: Meet Suburbanartt!

Yes, the rumors are true. Europe's most popular scootering company is changing direction. Recently, they have changed location from Paris, France to Bethesda, Maryland. Why? "Because as we get older and more mature we need to settle down in a quieter place, maybe raise some children" says team rider JD Randriambelson. The company has announced that instead of urban-based graphics on their decks they will now have pictures of nicely mowed lawns, mcmansions, and mini-vans complete with soccer moms. "The future holds big things" says Randriambelson. One thing is for sure, ScooterDad is going to want to partner up really quick!

Old Geezer Drops Actual Edit

EVERYWHERE - LMAOOO I'M DEAD (Crying Emoji) look at this fucking chode spending time and making a full length edit. What a waste of time he's not even going to get any Insta-followers from this. It's like 5 minutes long so I just skipped to the ender because they used some gay song with guitars in it. Like dude just cut your hair and start making daily vlogs already. Stop riding for the wrong reasons and start landing more worldies like @jordanclark14 and you might actually go somewhere.

Arnaud Marchenoir Scores 2,000,000 Point Combo On Warehouse

UNKNOWN WAREHOUSE- ("Superman" by Goldfinger playing loudly)

Funk Bros Trademark 'Having Your Head Up Your Ass'

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA- In a recent 'Funkisode', Corey and Capron Funk announced that, in addition to the recent SMX controversy, they have trademarked the phrase "Having your head up your ass".

This is quite a bold move for the brothers, with the rise in popularity of their own YouTube channel "Funk Bros" on which they post "Funkisodes" which usually comprise of shots of Corey Funk in bed, them getting fast food, promoting the SMX name, and the occasional flair.

We spoke with Capron Funk who stated: "Look, we don't want people to get the wrong idea, the only reason we trademarked the phrase is because we're the best in the world at having our heads stuck our asses, and we want people to take our obliviousness seriously. It was just to protect our own best interests. We get that some people might have an issue with this decision, which is cool, but we don't care."

Unfortunately this was all we were able to get from from Funk before shortly after, he completely disappeared up his own ass.

Quote Of The Week: "Just talk to my mom, man"

Classic! Good one Capron!

Juzzy Carter Gets Mistaken For Chanel West Coast, Accidentally Hosts Rediculousness

HOLLYWOOD, CA- In a confusing turn of events, it appears that Australian tech rider Justin "Juzzy" Carter has been mistaken to be celebrity model/television host Chanel West Coast. Carter subsequently found himself hosting an episode of Rob Dyrdek's Rediculosness, a show which West Coast co-hosts alongside Sterling "Steelo" Brim.
The show's host Rob Dyrdek stated "... I was pretty confused, Chanel wasn't using her annoying laugh as much as she usually does, she also isn't usually Australian but hey I thought she was just trying something new."
Reports say that Carter was riding a rail spot nearby the studio when producers for the show spotted him, and immediately escorted him to the set.
When we asked Juzzy about about this, he told us "Yeah mate it was hectic, one minute I'm stacking clips in this banger of a rail, then the next I'm sitting next to Eric Andre on a couch watching Rob Dyrdek say 'Oh my God!' over, and over again. I was definitely keen to be there, but I had no idea why they kept calling me 'Chanel' all the time, and by the end of it I was definitely ready to wheeze the juice somewhere else."

Top Ten Things in Scootering That Need to End

10. Eight Year Olds with Instagram Accounts
Didn't these little shitheads ever get that lecture from their parents on why social media users are all going to be kidnapped from their bedrooms one night?


9. Using Ty Segall and the Black Lips in EVERY FUCKING VIDEO

Ty Segall and the Black Lips are both very good artists, but just because you saw your favorite pro use them in a video doesn't mean that you have to use a song from them too. Be more creative


8. Shitty Rap Music in Videos

Theres plenty of great music that's not rap. There's plenty of great music that IS rap. This does not mean that you have to use a super ignorant rap song about weed and lean.

7. Scooter Riders Moving to Portland

Spread out across the country, spread out across the whole world for fuck's sake, just cause Portland is a super "weird" hipster place to go doesn't mean that you have to live there.


6. Prescott "No Ice"'s Youtube Comments    

You may know Prescott as "YUNG X PBERRY" (his youtube account) as the kid who tried to be Michael Mankong and comment "noice" on every youtube video. Prescott must not own a computer because noice autocorrected to "no ice" every time he tried to post it. If you upload a scootering-themed youtube video, you can bet good money that the comment "No Ice" will show up.


5. Quitting Scootering

Self explanatory


4. AO

They pay 10 bucks for fuckin instaclips and you try telling me that their riders aren't in it for the money. It's a joke (sort of) you butthurt AO riders, laugh for once.


3. SMX

Its not SMX, its scootering. Fucking deal with it.


2. Filming Tons of "Chill" Instaclips but Never Releasing a Video Part

If you need an explanation on why this is fucking stupid then I don't know what to say.


1. ZEECHES  

 For those of you who don't know, a zeech is a boardslide where the scooter is almost parallel to the rail, instead of being at a proper 90 degree angle with the rail. Some riders do these on purpose, which is equally bad. Zeeching is the number one thing that must end in scootering.

Keith Zadig added to Ambush Pro Team

ATLANTA, GA- Saying that he's "Super amped to be a part of the team!", Keith Zadig announced that he had been added to the Ambush Scooters pro team.

News of this officially broke yesterday at around 7pm eastern time, after Zadig had posted in a RideWire thread that he had been added, adding how enthusiastic he was to ride the new Ambush Deck.

While he was unable to discuss this deal too greatly, Zadig said that this deal first started to form on a recent trip to the Northwest, where he ran into the owner of Ambush during a session on Skatebarn West, in Renton, WA.

Zadig also added that "Although nothing's official yet, I am currently in contact with East2West scooters, and that dude from Australia who makes the 'Hella Dank SCS', for potentially representing."

UPDATE: Rob Wass, Ricky Cox, and Nate Wagoner have all just joined Ambush as well.

BREAKING NEWS: 'Ryan Williams Web Edit 3' Release Date Scheduled For 2076

QUEENSLAND, AUSTRALIA- This just in----In a recent statement made to his social media accounts, Ryan Williams announced that the release date for his long-anticipated "Web Edit Three" will likely be sometime in 2076.

Williams stated "I'm excited to announce that my Web Edit 3 is almost done! I only have a few clips left to land, after that it's editing time. Expect it to drop sometime 2076. Comment what songs you think I should use!"

Funeral Held For Rider Who Deletes Instagram

YOUNGSTOWN, OH- Last week friends and fellow scooter riders gathered to remember Chris Harrington, 16, of Youngstown Ohio, who recently deleted his Instagram account. His friends remember him as a young up and coming rider, who would always take extra care in taking pictures of his scooter parts for his IG account, and had the "dopest" Instavids.

We managed to speak to Chris about this, and he was kind enough to shed some light on it.
"I just wasn't feeling Instagram anymore. I was so sick of whoring myself out for followers and spending the first 45 minutes at a spot trying to take a good picture of it. I was on my phone the other day and saw a "#SMX" on a video and I was like 'This is it, this is the worst thing in the entire world', and that was basically the final straw, and I deleted my account. I don't get why everybody's making such a big deal out of it, it's like I died or something."

While the teen is seems to be in perfectly good health and still rides frequently, it is sad to see a young rider go so soon.  It's nice that he wants to ride for his own enjoyment, but Harrington is missing out on what's most important, without his Intagram he'll never be able to get 2k subscribers, and certainly never reach the nirvana of the scootering world, Sponsorship.

Friends might pass his name around from time to time, reminiscing on the time Jeremy Beau (@jeremybeau) liked his photo, but it seems without his IG account, Harrington will cease to exist.

Predicted Trends Of 2016

Every year the scooter community is blessed with the appearance of all sorts of new trends. Trends come and go, some are neat, some are not so neat. We here are the Stripped Clamp used a series of algorithms and oracles to predict what the big trends of 2016 will be, and layed it all out for y'all.


1) Tailwhips

Tailwhips are seriously such a fucking neat trick. Tailwhips have come and gone in popularity in the past but for 2016 they're going to be huge, even street riders will be doing them.

2) Not Referring To Any Sort Of Criticism As 'Hater Comments'

This is a big one for sure. Everyone knows that offering constructive criticism for a video in the Youtube comments section is basically cyberbulling, but somehow for 2016 it seems like people might start taking that criticism to heart, as opposed to calling them haters. Insane.

3) Still having Respect For Riders Who Make Vlogs With Clickbaitey Titles And Dont Involve Scooters, Just To Get Views

"We're just trying to introduce scootering to a broader audience"

4) Shouting 'Maximum Neatage' after landing a trick

Everybody's going to be doing it. There's nothing you can do, just accept it.

5) Reporting Michael Mankong's YouTube Comments

Just click the little down arrow to the right of the comment, select "Report spam or abuse", and then "Pornography or sexually explicit material".

6) Park Style VS. Street Style

Fashion has always been a big deal from year to year. For 2016 the big styles for park riders will be "Good Charlotte" t-shirts, parachute pants, S.O.A.P. shoes, and stealing pairs of socks from Tanner Fox's house. Street riders will wear mostly the same uniform (depending on what street skaters are wearing) with the addition of neon snow pants and Osiris shoes.

7) Quitting Scooters

"I have a girlfriend now and she's really hot and sucks my dick you fucking queermoes"

8) Using The Song 'Perfect' by Simple Plan For Edits

Nobody will be surprised by this one. The scooter community has seen it's fair share of trendy bands and songs such as Passion Pit's hit "Sleepyhead" and every Tame Impala song, but this is going to take off. You're going to be hearing this song on ALL Instaclips and "Welcome to" edits, no question.

9) Promising A Video Only To Release A Scene From 'Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties' 

Ha! Classic!

10) Actually Having Fun

We know, it's insane. This is one came far out of left field. Although it will probably cause many people to quit, a big trend we're going to be seeing is people to actually start riding their scooters for their own enjoyment.

Scooter Rider Convinced Minute Long Intro Necessary for Throwaway Edit

POWAY, CA- Stating that there's "Just no other way around it", local scooter rider Tyson Cox defends his stance that a minute long intro is absolutely necessary for his two-minute "Throwaway Edit".

This is in response to criticism from his friend Kyle who didn't get why there wasn't a trick landed until 1:03 in the video. Even though the video is an ambitious two-minutes in length, some might still think that a minute long intro might potentially take away from it, which Cox proves is certainly not the case.

Cox's video starts with a black screen displaying his Youtube account name (tcscootz02) with copyright free trap music playing, then suddenly fades to a black and white clip of Cox lying on the ground, while the song "Beast Mode" by Jake Miller starts to play (which to the best of our records, has never been used in a video before). The viewer is then treated to a riveting 46 seconds of  falls, knuckle bumps, and even a shot of him waxing a ledge, which surprisingly was never even ridden in the video. As if he didn't already put in enough effort for this video, the intro also includes a slow motion shot of Cox putting on his helmet, which is later followed by another shot of him removing his helmet.

Tyson was kind enough to speak to us for a short time about his recent video, to which he said.
"Look I really wanted to take this throwaway video seriously, step up the game on it. In the end it was an artistic decision, there was a certain aesthetic I was going for which the intro played crucially into. If you're not on the same artistic wavelength as me you're just not going to get it, it'll go completely over your head. I knew all thirteen of my Youtube subscribers were expecting big things from me, and I'm confident I delivered."

Friend Recounts Time He Got Hit In The Shins With Deck

HACKETTSTOWN, NJ- After stating that he "Used to f-ck around on those things all the time", Ryan McManus friend of scooter rider Danny Donovan, went on to explain how bad it hurts to get hit in the shins with the deck. 

"Dude you must get hit in the shins all the time, right? That's the worst pain I've ever felt. I would be spinning the deck around and then out of nowhere like BAM! the deck would hit me right in the shin and I'd be on the ground for like 15 minutes." 

McManus then went on to ask if Donovan can do "That flip thing", saying he saw a video of some guy doing it.

Donovan said he can but that he cant right now because "he like doesn't have a ramp or anything", then explained to his friend that you actually don't get hit in the shins that often once you "Don't suck", but obliged in agreeing that it does hurt. 

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FlipTech Scooters Revealed To Be Owned By Craig From Mondo Burger

SAN DIEGO, CA- In a recent, and surprising turn of events, "Mike" the CEO and Founder of FlipTech Scooters has been arrested and revealed to be "Craig", the former CEO of burger chain "Mondo Burger", which has long been shut down.

This is not Craig's first run in with the law, in 1997 Craig was arrested on multiple felony counts for his role in Mondo Burger's use dangerous chemicals, and for attempting to put rival burger joint "Good Burger" out of business by poisoning Ed's "Special Sauce". Luckily, a few Good Burger employees were able to put an end to Craig's lameness with the help of some inmates from the Demented Hills Asylum. He was  sentenced to 15 years in prison, which he served eight of before being released due to good behavior.

"Mike" was arrested on January 9th, at his southern California home after a long undercover investigation which discovered "FlipTech Scooters" was just a front to raise money to restart Mondo Burger.

We spoke to one of the detectives on the case who told us "It was honestly the easiest investigation we've ever conducted, once we saw that someone was trying to raise money for a kickflipping scooter, we realized that the only person capable of seeming that disconnected to their target audience had to be the guy who started Mondo Burger, like seriously that's the worst product ever."

Solochristo Founder Joey Aria Converts to Judaism

Warrenton, VA. Devout Christian scooter rider Joey Aria, star of such films as "The 777 Project" and "My Own Style Web Edit" has recently announced on his facebook that he no longer believes that Jesus Christ is the son of god. "The facts just point straight to Judaism," says Aria. "If Jesus was really the son of god then how come god doesn't get full custody?" When asked what will become of Aria's religious scooter crew, Solochristo, Aria responded "Simple, we're just Solomoses now."

Bad Scooter Rider Quits to be Even Worse at BMX

PELHAM, NH- Posting on his Facebook account "BMX 4 life" (followed by numerous heart-eyed emojis), Hudson Skatepark native Chase D'angelo, announced that he was ending his illustrious four month scooter career in order to fully focus his attention on sucking literal ass at BMX. Many have suspected this decision for a while, due to reported sightings of him sitting on his bike at the skatepark doing nothing, and his increased amount of  Instagram posts of his bike with pop-punk lyrics.

We spoke to one of D'angelo's former riding friends who told us "Yeah of course we knew, all of us at the park did but nobody gave a shit. That kid f-cking blew at scootering, he would just sit on the ledges all day asking kids what the weird sound his scooter was making was from, and then maybe he'd take a run and almost land a double whip then sit back down for the rest of the day. It sucks even more now because he just sits there, maybe takes a run every 20 minutes- snaking everybody and doing no tricks, and yells at all of us that we're snaking him and calls us 'scooter fags'.

Chase has been fairly busy with blowing at BMX recently, but he was able to take time out of his busy schedule to speak to us and say: "Maybe I wasn't the best at scootering, but that's because scootering is gay and I'm definitely not gay, I'm serious I'm not f-cking gay dude. Anyways I lift mad weights and BMX involves way more strength because it's not for fags so I'm sick at it."

Chase was a valuable member of the scooter community and his presence will surely be missed. The sky is the limit with how bad he can be at BMX, and we wish him the best, in all of his future endeavors of mediocrity in the search for validation.

Ninjalifestyle Quits Skating to Pursue Career in Scootering: "This Shits Just so Much Fun"

Youtube sensation and Revive Skateboards pro Steven aka. Black Ninja has recently announced that he will be quitting skateboarding to pursue a lifelong dream riding scooters. "Scooters have always been something I've just really looked up to" says Ninja "This shits just so much fun, I mean now that I've mastered scootering, I don't have to feel ashamed of riding in my local skatepark!" Go pursue your dream Ninja, we look forward to seeing your new videos!

10 Worst Scooter Riders

10. James Gee-----You have filmed the same line with the feeble heel, the double whip flat, and the front feeble truck driver probably 100 times. Any 12 year old from TIC can do that.

9. Zig Short-----Because sex changing when you do board slides is sooooooo cool!

8. Joey Aria-----Its not so much that he is bad at scootering as it is the fact that he constantly shares his "My Own Style!" web edit from 3 years ago still to this day

7. Brian Murphy-----Has about as much style as a sweatpant-and-new-balance-wearing pedophile

6. Hunter Bechtle-----The man is literally a potato on a scooter

5. Timothy Jenkins-----You don't know him, but he's a real piece of shit

4. Ninjalifestyle-----Although he claims to have "mastered" the sport of scootering, let me assure you, he is far from the best

3.Jeremy Malott-----Was cyber bullied out of scootering

2. Dakota Schuetz-----The self proclaimed "Number One Ranked Scooter Rider" who is clearly only in it for the money and has TERRIBLE body odor (so I've heard)

1. Scooter-----This German DJ has never actually been filmed on a scooter, which makes me wonder why he is currently one of the top ranked riders in our action sport

Kota Announces He Might Endorse a Product that Isn't Terrible

SAN DIEGO, CA- Posting on his social media accounts that he "...is feeling a change of heart", 4x World Champion, Dakota Scheutz announced that he is interested in endorsing a worthy product, for a change.

 Many have speculated that this is in response to Kota's recent endorsement of the "FlipTech Scooter", a scooter which has a rotating deck allowing it the ability to Kickflip, and more importantly break quicker, allowing the consumer to throw it away sooner. The announcement of this product sparked almost unanimous criticism from the scooter community, except for Mike, the CEO/Founder of FlipTech, who stated: "I think the FlipTech Scooter is really cool! look the deck spins!."

Kota was kind enough to speak on this, to which he told us:
 "...yeah I don't know man, I guess I kinda want to start promoting companies who actually care about the growth of scootering, and not just ones trying to make it into something it's not for a quick buck, or huge ones that claim to be 'Helping the sport grow' but really don't give a sh-t about it, as long as they move their product. I was about to sign on to promote an app called 'Sickklipz', which automatically uploaded your clips to Instagram so you didn't have to wait forever to make an actual edit when I was like, 'Hey, this is kind of bogus, and if I dont drop it -pronto-, I'll be just as bogus'. The whole thing changed my whole view, man. I just wanna go out and shred some gnar on a decent scooter, without worrying about six wheeled scooters and eight year contracts. All I need are some tasty airs, a cool buzz, and I'm fine."

It is still unclear what his next step is, but he informed us that he has something "Totally righteous" in store for the future.