PELHAM, NH- Posting on his Facebook account "BMX 4 life" (followed by numerous heart-eyed emojis), Hudson Skatepark native Chase D'angelo, announced that he was ending his illustrious four month scooter career in order to fully focus his attention on sucking literal ass at BMX. Many have suspected this decision for a while, due to reported sightings of him sitting on his bike at the skatepark doing nothing, and his increased amount of Instagram posts of his bike with pop-punk lyrics.
We spoke to one of D'angelo's former riding friends who told us "Yeah of course we knew, all of us at the park did but nobody gave a shit. That kid f-cking blew at scootering, he would just sit on the ledges all day asking kids what the weird sound his scooter was making was from, and then maybe he'd take a run and almost land a double whip then sit back down for the rest of the day. It sucks even more now because he just sits there, maybe takes a run every 20 minutes- snaking everybody and doing no tricks, and yells at all of us that we're snaking him and calls us 'scooter fags'.
Chase has been fairly busy with blowing at BMX recently, but he was able to take time out of his busy schedule to speak to us and say: "Maybe I wasn't the best at scootering, but that's because scootering is gay and I'm definitely not gay, I'm serious I'm not f-cking gay dude. Anyways I lift mad weights and BMX involves way more strength because it's not for fags so I'm sick at it."
Chase was a valuable member of the scooter community and his presence will surely be missed. The sky is the limit with how bad he can be at BMX, and we wish him the best, in all of his future endeavors of mediocrity in the search for validation.
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