Comedic Genius Refers to Madd Gear as "Madd Queer"

Cleveland, OH- Sources have confirmed that Kyle Schneider, a newly christened street rider and secret comedic genius, called Madd Gear "Madd Queer". It appears that this statement was first made in response to a Facebook post by the brand. In true anti-authoritarian street rider fashion, Schneider commented: "Madd Gear, more like Madd Queer".

We here at The Stripped Clamp have never seen this level of high brow humor before from the scooter community, and are thoroughly excited for the future of Schneider's comedy career.

Local Rider Quits to Pursue Sharing Pictures of Car on Facebook

REDMOND, OR- Saying that he's "done with that gay sh-t" local scooter rider Ryan Palermo, 17, of central Oregon has announced that he is quitting, to focus on the far more fulfilling hobby of posting pictures of his car on Facebook. "I guess it all started when I got that 1998 Corolla after getting my license, I just started taking pictures of it in front of things and I fell in love. The freedom is unreal it's so rewarding, like, I can take a picture of it in front of McDonalds, Panda Express, or even just pull up to the skatepark and take pictures in front of it, without even having to ride it." says Palermo.
The teen said he was also "tired of those f-gs at the park", and after posting that he was selling his scooter on International Flow Riders for "$80 OBO" he had officially quit.

In addition to posting and sharing car pictures Ryan, the self proclaimed stoner also devotes his time into sharing Dabstars pictures and ICP song lyrics on his Facebook account. "Scootering's not going to get you anywhere bro, but I'm really starting to think this car pictures following is starting to take off I get like 10 likes per picture, plus I have a girlfriend now, and scootering's for gays."

We were able to reach a former riding friend, Luke, who commented "Literally f-ck that kid he was such a f-ggot, he just sat on the ledges chain smoking Newports all day, talking about some clown posse he belongs to. If he wants to rub his d-ck on his car forever good for him, at least he's not here anymore. His girlfriend is ugly as f-ck too."

Maddgear Thoroughly Impressed by "Chill Iphone Clips"

DARTFORD, UK- Local scooter rider Sam Rogers' recent "Chill iPhone Clips" recently gained the attention of some twelve Instagram users and Maddgear themselves

"We were extremely impressed by Sam's edit. Individualism is key here at Maddgear, and he clearly showed us more than enough in this edit that he is exactly what we're looking for. Everything about Sam's mindset is as chill, adding his own style to riding fakie by hopping as much as possible, and who would've thought to film an edit on an iPhone? sacrificing video quality to put his own aesthetic on things, this kid is the real deal."

The video is a solid 29 seconds of heavy hitting bangers, ranging from a doublewhip, to a one footer down a four stair, and even almost landing a bri flip for the banger.

Sam declined to speak because he was busy playing call of duty, but we gained information from one of Sam's mates, Harry, that he an Maddgear are currently working out the fine details of an extensive pro contract.

Contest Entry Fee Only Costs Indentured Servitude

RYE, NH-In preparation for the upcoming Rye Airfield Scooter Competition, the promoter (World Wide Scooterz) has announced that the entry fee, will only cost indentured servitude. In a recent statement about this decision, WWS said:

"We here at WWS know that the seemingly unreasonable price of entry fee for contests have been stirring many potential competitors away, who don't have rich enough parents to pay for it. We thought it was only necessary to allow a more economically advantageous way for the rider to make up for the eternal debt that they owe us for letting them compete in our scooter contest..."

World Wide Scooterz went on to discuss the different levels of payment based on skill levels, thus being: Beginner (13 and under) one year of indentured servitude, (Beginner 13 and up): a year and a half of indentured servitude, (Advanced) three years of indentured servitude, (Pro) five years of indentured servitude.
WWS has still yet to announce where the term of the participants servitude will take place, but many speculations point to becoming cooks, gardeners, and butlers ect. for WWS's President.

Elliott Arnold Leaves Elyts, Joins Crocs Pro Team

SAN DIEGO-In a surprising deal, former Elyts street rider Elliot Arnold has announced on his Instagram that he is leaving the company- switching to the newly founded Crocs Scooter Team. In the news break, Arnold stated:

"There are no hard feelings between Elyts and I, and I'm thankful for everything they've done fore me... They're just moving in a new direction as a brand, and Crocs is working on some seriously dope sh-t... couldn't be more stoked to be repping them for 2016".

Crocs also issued a statement saying how "Stoked" they were to have Arnold on the team.

 "...we here at Crocs know that there has been a high demand for a Croc designed for action sports, and we couldn't be happier to announce the release of the first ever Scootering Croc, and to have Scooter Professional Elliott Arnold be the first member of our 'Scooter riding Pro Team'."

Both Arnold and Crocs have also hinted at a "Signature Croc" which could possibly be in the works, but these rumors have yet to be confirmed.

Welcome

Welcome to The Stripped Clamp. Our goal here is to provide the highest quality articles, news, and interviews to the thriving and exciting scooter community, so that it's members may continue to spend more time on the internet than actually riding.