Nitro Circus To Replace Resi Ramp With Foam Pit

ANNAPOLIS, MD- Everyone in the scooter community knows how sick the Giganta ramp is, and Nitro Circus has just announced that this year they're going to be making it even sicker !

The Nitro headquarters have released a statement saying that they will be replacing their impact- resistant landing ramp with a more appropriate, and totally gnarly foam pit. Nitro Circus founder, Travis Pastrana went on to say:

Nitro Circus is all about progression, and we just want to help riders land stuff we've never seen before. Believe me... you're going to see some crazy sh-t go down in that GnarPit that you would never even think is possible!

The scootering rule makers (who asked to remain anonymous) said that resi totally counts, so Rwilly's 'worldies" will still count when he does them into the new foam pit.

Its refreshing to see Nitro Circus acknowledge that progression isn't all about actually landing tricks, but it's about adding another spin to that frickin double flip.

Nitro Circus said that this knew "GnarPit" will definiteley be in place for this years non-broadcasted Scootering event at the Nitro World games.

Jack Dauth: 'I Now Own Over 1000 Custom Daggers'

SYDNEY, NSW- As many of you know, Jack Dauth has been collecting daggers of all shapes and sizes for over 8 years. His collection ranks 3rd largest in Australia.  “I recon I’ve been collecting for about 8 years now”- exclaimed Jack in our interview. 

We asked what sparked his interest in daggers; “Very few feelings in life come close to caressing a finely tuned ballisong. My daggers are my most beloved possessions and are truly the only things that understand me”.  

We stuck around for an un-boxing of a new dagger Jack said is worth over $500. As Jack began opening the box he caught a glimpse of his new piece and began to rejoice, he delicately cradled his new neo-chrome ballisong “butterfly knife” then, in one motion, stood up in front of the mirror while making direct eye contact with himself in silence. After a moment that seemed like an eternity, he looked back over his should and then told us to leave.

Funk Bros Fill Trampoline With Dead Horse

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA - News has just broken that the San Diego YouTube stars "The Funk Bros" have just released a video filling their trampoline with a dead horse. The former scooter riders are facing a great deal of criticism from PETA, and everyone else on the internet for their bullshit.

We reached out to Capron for a statement, who told us:

 "Yeah, we can see why people might be a little upset but we're just having fun, at the end of the day our channel is just all about having fun. Some people might say we've turned our backs on scootering but we still wear our apex shirts in videos sometimes so they should just shut up and be thankful for what we've done for the sport. We can't wait to make more videos filling our trampoline with assorted objects."

 Capron went on to clarify that the horse came dead, and that they definiteley did not kill it.

200 Best Scooter Riders Ever

Its 2017 and we can do this shit now. We did some sabermetrics and here it is boys.

200.        Tom Mattingly

199.        Boris Germain

198.        Chandler Dunn

197.        Eric Ostrom

196.        Alexis Letellier

195.        Rob Wass

194.        Ryan Kingsley

193.        Jeff Mroz

192.        Kai Saunders

191.        Vince Kinna

190.        Matt Dibble

189.        Enzo Commeau

188.        Jack Colston

187.        Cameron Poe

186.        Matt Grippi

185.        AJ Storcella

184.        Darcy Cherry-Evans

183.        Javi Trepat

182.        Ian Herncjar

181.        Nick Darger

180.        Lambert Judith

179.        Brian Noyes

178.        Evan Yamada

177.        Ben Thomas

176.        Kyle Tolentino

175.        Maxime Legrand

174.        Scott Higgs

173.        Chris Vincent

172.        Jacob Deveney

171.        Zeidon White

170.        Cooper Elgar

169.        Bart Oskroba

168.        SAM DANGER GROVE

167.        Brandon Rowell

166.        Derek Marr

165.        Dougie Roc

164.        George Searle

163.        Jamie Hull

162.        Brad French

161.        Dan Avery

160.        Jacob D’Arezzo

159.        Chema Cardenas

158.        James Brady

157.        Serjey Noga

156.        Hershey

155.        Cameron Poe

154.        Jason Beggs

153.        Bobby Pantano

152.        Cam Ward

151.        Wyatt Brown

150.        Perry Grant

149.        Tom Cirbee

148.        Nathan Fleming

147.        Jake Sorenson

146.        Didine Terchague

145.        Tanner Markley

144.        Jon Archer

143.        Chris Hart

142.        Corey Funk

141.        Daniel Warwick

140.        Ben Grantham

139.        Nate Grant

138.        Joey Aria

137.        Brian Griffin

136.        Kiara Meade

135.        Austin Keuntz

134.        Big Ron

133.        Mohamed Alsulaibi

132.        Jared Adelson

131.        Luke Painter

130.        Luke Pickett

129.        Luis Oppel

128.        Jon Knudson

127.        Blake Bailor

126.        Jon Reyes

125.        Riley Hughes

124.        Adam Rouse

123.        Jara Soukup

122.        Lewis Crampton

121.        Cory Geisler

120.       Tyler Wheeland

119.        Michael Hohmann

118.        Jash Toy

117.        Gary Ably

116.        Noah Risser

115.        Chris Gribble

114.        Kevin Austen

113.        Matt Somers

112.        Fernando Young

111.        Aaron Brandston

110.        Luke Maffesoni

109.        James Carter

108.        Jackson Bartlett

107.        Peter Jungsberger

106.        Ty Alexander

105.        Jack McCann

104.        Nick Toigo

103.        Chris Gascoine

102.        Lewis Williams

101.        Daniel Gutendorff

100.        Brandon James

99.          Zig Short

98.          Nick Strickler

97.          Nate Wagoner

96.          Regan Thompson

95.          Ryan Gould

94.          Badger

93.          Robbie Weir

92.          Derek Seay

91.          Erik Feenstra

90.          Chris Koenig

89.          Jon Aglialaro

88.          Tom Kvilhaug

87.          Tyler Garcia

86.          Clayton Lindley

85.          Charles Padel

84.          Justin Phillips

83.          Hayden O’Connor

82.          Ryan Erwin

81.          Jon Devrind

80.          Addison Mcnaughton

79.          Joey Kish

78.          Kenny Griffin

77.          Martin Andre

76.          Richard Zelinka

75.          Keith Zadig

74.          Hunter Scheutz

73.          John Radke

72.          Tommy Christiana

71.          Bobby Rivas

70.          Henrik Palm

69.          Arnaud Marchenoir

68.          Dante Hutchinson

67.          Dalton Mazzante

66.          Archie Cole

65.          Ludo Pistat

64.          Jordan Jasa

63.          Nick Donatelli

62.          Tommy Dang

61.          Twan

60.          Jared Colwell

59.          Ryan McNamara

58.          Stefen Hefner

57.          Kyle Page

56.          Elliot Arnold

55.          Ryan Upchurch

54.          Justin Robertson

53.          Luke Burland

52.          Parrish Isaacs

51.          Graham Kimbell

50.          Reece Doezema

49.          Matt Ogle

48.          Jeremy Malott

47.          Nick Tedrick

46.          Conor Davidson

45.          Matty Ceravolo

44.          Logan Fuller

43.          Mitch Baldry

42.          Benjamin Friant

41.          Collin DaSilva

40.          Josh Young

39.          Jesse Bayes

38.          Dan Holm

37.          Remi Bouchard

36.          Stevon Wilson

35.          Dylan Williams

34.          Jesse Ikedah

33.          Flavio Pesenti

32.          Dylan Morrison

31.          Helmeri Prinen

30.          Isaac Miller

29.          Raymond Warner

28.          Capron Funk (lol)

27.          Joe Armstrong

26.          Zack Martin

25.          Dan Barrett

24.          Hunter Bechtle

23.          Jesse Macaluso

22.          Dylan Kasson

21.          Gus Rymer

20.          Cooper Klaar

19.          Monkey

18.          Billy Watts

17.          Juzzy Carter

16.          Brandon Kilbury

15.          Max Peters

14.          Jake Clark

13.          Roomet Saalik

12.          Reece Jones

11.          Matt Mckeen

10.          Jordan Clark

9.            Brendon Smith

8.            Terry Price

7.            Josh Kish

6.            Tyler Bonner

5.            Coedie Donovan

4.            Ryan Williams

3.            Dakota Schuetz

2.            Vincent Kudrna

1.            Josh Brown

'Sovereigns Of Street' Prize Pool To Be Exclusiveley Backwoods

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA - Next month the eyes of the entire scooter community will will set on Lake Havasu, Arizona for the inaugural 'Sovereigns Of Street' (SOS) Contest. The invite-only event is  projected as being the future of street scootering competition.  The event promotor, The Vault Pro Scooters, have just announced that he prizes for the top competitors will be exclusiveley Backwoods products. They have released a statement following the decision.

We here at the vault are commited to making this event the next level of street scootering competition. In order to make SOS the best it could possibly be, we've asked the riders for their input, and  have recieved an overwhelmingly positive reaction to the idea of incorporating Backwoods prizes, as opposed to the original $10,000 prize purse. We feel that having a prize that the street riders will actually want will encourage them to push the boundaries of what is possible on a scooter, and overall have a positive impact on the competition. Riders will be coming in from all over the world to compete to be THE street king, and we're excited to see whos going to be walking away with a shitload of Backwoods.

This will certainly be a historical day in scootering. We applaud The Vault for the decision they have made, and hope it sets a precedent for future events to start incorporating more scooter rider friendly prizes.

Dylan Morrison To Take On Floyd Mayweather

After countless YouTube videos, Facebook threads, and endless Instagram comments, everyone by now, in the Scooter Industry knows of Dylan Morrison and Scooter Brad's argument going past rude words, and taking the form of a fist fight (well, 2 actually).

Scooter Brad has capitalized on this, through multiple YouTube videos, and suing me.

Dylan Morrison now looks to cash in on the hysteria that surrounds this topic, by organizing a fight between Floyd Mayweather and himself.

I've spoken to an inside source, who claims this fight will be worth double the amount than the McGregor fight was worth.

My source has also claimed that Dylan is so confident that with his new found fighting ability's, he will be able to Knock Out Mayweather, within 8 rounds.

The fight is scheduled to take place on the 20th of April 2018, which is also Mr Morrison's favorite day of the year.

Mr Morrison has still not responded to my request to Jelly Wrestle with him naked, as per Scooter Brad's request.

Scooter Brad is suing me?

It seems the biggest beef in Scooter Industry right now is that of Scooter Brad vs Dylan Morrison, and it's just wonderful being able to sit back, crack open a packet of Microwave Popcorn, and watch this hot mess unfold.

Well this was the case, until I came across Brad's latest video, which personally accuses me of starting all of this beef, with an article which I supposedly published!

I couldn't believe what I was hearing!

Then I remembered the article he was talking about, and realized he was probably right.

I had a really good laugh about it!
I stopped laughing this morning though, when I was contacted by Mr Goudies lawyers.
He is asking to be compensated for assault damages caused by Mr Morrison (Including the camo "SB" hat) and the humiliation he has faced since then.

His list of demands to settle this outside of court are as follows;

• 70 Million Vietnamese Dong (roughly 3080 USD, which is reasonable I guess?).

• Turkey slapping me on camera, so he has some original content to put on to his YouTube Channel.

• A naked jelly wrestling match between Dylan Morrison and myself (I'm game, if you are Dylan 😉).

• An apology letter, where I refer to him as "The best Vlogger ever".

• 10 paid vocal training lesson's, so more of his followers can understand whatever the hell he is talking about through his damn accent.

• A copy of Sum 41's "All Killer No Filler" album.

• And last but not least, my left testicle... He wants it cut off, and framed.

You're a sick bastard Bradley Goudie, and I love it, I'll see you in court!

Nitro Circus World Games Scootering Coverage

Terry Price “Trick Dice” Overtakes Monopoly As The Highest Selling Dice Based Game!

#yolowarrior is trending worldwide as the release of Terry Price’s trick dice smashes sales records, overtaking such staple name dice based games such as your mother’s favorite Thursday night board game Monopoly overnight.

We asked Terry a few questions about the success of his new product:

Mike: So Terry, you have become an overnight sensation, how does that make you feel?

Terry: Well, it feels awesome! Since my riding washed up around 09’ I’ve been trying so many different ways to keep my reputation up.

Mike: That’s great to hear man! Do you feel bad at all that you are severely overcharging kids for worthless pieces of crappy plastic that they could make them self, for less than half the price these things are retailing at?

Terry: Not at all! I mean, each bag comes personally signed by me, so that obviously is where the value of each set of dice is!

Mike: So what’s next with your #yolowarrior ventures Terry?

Terry: I’m hoping to release an iPhone app next, that is like Instagram, but I’m going to call it, “Terry-Gram”, where kids can post and share photos of me, and me only.

So there you have it everyone, keep an eye out for Terry Price’s Trick Dice, and take out a small loan to get yourself a set!

15 Excuses For Your Shitty Video

1.)"Every clip was first try."

2.) "My hard drive got erased so I lost all the footy I stacked."

3.)  "It's actually called a 'Tokyo Drift' and it was on purpose."

4.) "It doesn't seem like much but that three stair is WAY gnarlier in person."

5.) "No but it's a different remix of that Imagine Dragons song."

6.) "I broke my deck so filming was cut short."

7.) "I got sand in my vagina so I couldn't ride for a while."

8.) "Like half of it was switch."

9.) "That back board was pegless."

10.)"You don't get it the GoPro quality audio totally needed to be in it."

11.) "It's about the creativity not the trick itself (adjusting Dickies)."

12.) "No I split the clip so it would match the song better, not because I didn't land the trick or anything."

13.) "But it's a park video."

14.) "But it's a street video."

15.)   "I actually didn't heeldrag the first time I landed it but the filmer forgot to press the record button."

Jordan Clark's Top 10 Gnarliest Instagram Photos

Many people know of Jordan Clark's skills on the scooter, winning the past two ISA World Championships, but how many know of his skills off the scooter? Jordan kills it in the Instagram game, posting frequently and amassing a 120k follower fan base (with a fucking dope follow to follower ratio).  Jordan is living proof that with time and dedication anything is possible, do you think Jordan would be the #1 scooter rider in the world if he spent all his time riding and filming sick video parts? Hell no. He knows what it takes to be the best, and is willing to put in the time on his phone to be the best.

Last December Clark landed the world's first 540 double flair, a trick which park riders have dreamed of for generations. Instead of waiting and wasting time filming for a video to put the trick in, Jordan went and posted an iphone recording of another camera playing the clip to his instagram. This is the kind of dedication the sport needs more of, and here at The Stripped Clamp we couldn't be more proud of Jordan.

We could go all day talking about how sick Jordan's Instagram is, or we could show you, here's Jordan Clark's Top 10 GNARLIEST Instagram Photos.

10.) Woah! Crazy!

A photo posted by Jordan Clark 1⃣7⃣ (@jordanclark14) on May 13, 2016 at 9:49am PDT

9.) Insane!

@ruggedobsession thank you for my new top and hoodie 👌🏻 follow @ruggedobsession @ruggedobsession #doubletap 😏😏

A photo posted by Jordan Clark 1⃣7⃣ (@jordanclark14) on Jul 10, 2016 at 1:05pm PDT

8.) Nice suit!

All suited and booted for tonight for the awards in London ! Place making awards #doubletap 😏

A photo posted by Jordan Clark 1⃣7⃣ (@jordanclark14) on Jun 23, 2016 at 8:28am PDT

7.) Cool!

😕

A photo posted by Jordan Clark 1⃣7⃣ (@jordanclark14) on Jun 8, 2016 at 10:14am PDT

6.) Jordan is UNSTOPPABLE!

#doubletap 👌🏻😏

A photo posted by Jordan Clark 1⃣7⃣ (@jordanclark14) on Jun 6, 2016 at 4:31am PDT

5.) Putting in the hours.

ITS MY BIRTHDAY 💥💥🎉🎉

A photo posted by Jordan Clark 1⃣7⃣ (@jordanclark14) on Jun 1, 2016 at 1:47am PDT

4.) Killer haircut dude!

Thanks @antjordanthebarber for the fresh trim ! Follow him @antjordanthebarber @antjordanthebarber

A photo posted by Jordan Clark 1⃣7⃣ (@jordanclark14) on May 17, 2016 at 10:08am PDT

3.) Whats gunna go down? Can't wait to see.

Go follow @connorgosdenphotography get him 1k followers and we will tell you what's gunna go down ? @connorgosdenphotography

A photo posted by Jordan Clark 1⃣7⃣ (@jordanclark14) on Apr 20, 2016 at 1:44pm PDT

2.) THIS MAN IS ON A MISSION.

😏😊👌🏻 @michaelstancomb 📷📷📷

A photo posted by Jordan Clark 1⃣7⃣ (@jordanclark14) on Mar 25, 2016 at 7:18am PDT

1.) Here it is, the gnarliest picture on Jordan Clark's instagram, chase those dreams Jordan!

@iskuteboard

A photo posted by Jordan Clark 1⃣7⃣ (@jordanclark14) on Mar 6, 2016 at 9:50am PST

Dylan Morrison, Smokes Weed For The First Time, Becomes Street King!

In a shocking turn of events, every 10 year old's hero, Dylan Morrison, quit Apex...
We recently spoke to Dylan about this catastrophe that rocked the scooter scene in Australia; he had the following to say about the incident.

"Yeah man, I don't know, I was out at a party with a couple of guys that ride street, and they handed me my first joint. Apparently I didn't do it right, but I felt it man. While I was trippin' on some straight G, I had an epiphany, that I couldn't be the street king if I was riding for Apex.
The day after my first marijuana, instead of catching the bus to my local, I decided to ride there instead. Whilst cruising the street I found this gnarly 3 stair hand rail and decided to hit it up. I was nervous.... I'd never hit something quite like this before. To ease my nerves, I pulled out the poorly rolled J-izzle out of my back pocket and ripped it straight thugg'n. On the first initial in-hail my vision widened, my brain focused.... anyway.. I board-slid the shit out of the handrail and rode away a new man.
I was no longer focusing on the next whip I could add to my buttercups, I ain't 'bout that life no more. I had a new goal and that was to become the next street elite-est. Fast forward a few days and I had parted ways from Apex, DSLR Cameras, my pads, my kickless' and my daily showering. I quickly hopped online and ordered some Dickies and second hand clothing.
I needed these things if I wanted to show all the real street dogs out there I ain't playing around and I'm here to slay. Already prepping to take out the crown at the next big street jam."

At this point, Dylan kept rambling to his tin foil crown he had made, but we left him under the bridge he had set up camp at.

Good luck to Dylan with his future ventures...

Little Kid With Bike Helmet Announces Plan To Fuck Up Your Line

FITCHBURG, MA- Sources have confirmed that local skatepark inhibitor, Tucker Collins has announced his plan to fuck up your shit.
The six year old Leominster native can often be seen riding his weird three-wheeled thing around at the Fitchburg Skatepark, located in Fitchburg Massachusetts, while his mom sits by on a local bench playing 'Candy Crush Saga' on her phone.
Collins stated "It's really a quite simple plan actually. First I'm going to ride my weird three wheeled thing in circles around the bottom area of the transition, maybe even carving up the transition (anywhere between 6" and 1'), just to make sure nobody can get a run in without worrying about me. Then, I'll ride up to where everybody is rolling in to take a run, just to make it seem like I'm going to stop, and then I'll turn back around and go back to riding in circles.
If I see anyone trying to film a line I'll focus them more heavily, possible even falling right in front of where they're trying to ride,  I'll lay down and cry for... anywhere between five and fifteen minutes, depending on how long I feel I can milk it.
 It's great, my mom will come over and yell at everyone trying to ride for not watching out for me, I might even ask my mom what a rimjob is and say I overheard it from the teenagers trying to film, she'll go off on them."
It seems there is a big and bright future for Tucker. We asked him if there's anything he'd like to add to the matter, to which he told us "I'd like to thank my mom, without her parental incompetence and irresponsibility, none of this would ever be possible."

Zack Martin's Patagonia Vest Revealed to Have Super Powers

Vista, Ca. Professional scooter rider Zack Martin was recently exposed as using performance-enhancers when he rides scooters. The drug? His Patagonia Synchilla fleece vest. Apparently, the vest has magic powers, as it had a spell cast on it by a Haitian witch-doctor. Whenever Zack does a trick, the vest enhances his ability on rails, gaps, ledges, walls, transition, and even flatground.  When confronted about the vest, Zack had no response. It is unknown how it got into his possession. In a recent interview with Zack's sponsor, Proto Scooters, it was revealed that Zack will NOT be removed from the team. Why? "Because nobody else has that jacket," says spokesperson Andrew Broussard. However, it has been noted that all of Zack's footage will feature a discliamer informing the viewer about the vest.

Urbanartt Leaves the City: Meet Suburbanartt!

Yes, the rumors are true. Europe's most popular scootering company is changing direction. Recently, they have changed location from Paris, France to Bethesda, Maryland. Why? "Because as we get older and more mature we need to settle down in a quieter place, maybe raise some children" says team rider JD Randriambelson. The company has announced that instead of urban-based graphics on their decks they will now have pictures of nicely mowed lawns, mcmansions, and mini-vans complete with soccer moms. "The future holds big things" says Randriambelson. One thing is for sure, ScooterDad is going to want to partner up really quick!

Old Geezer Drops Actual Edit

EVERYWHERE - LMAOOO I'M DEAD (Crying Emoji) look at this fucking chode spending time and making a full length edit. What a waste of time he's not even going to get any Insta-followers from this. It's like 5 minutes long so I just skipped to the ender because they used some gay song with guitars in it. Like dude just cut your hair and start making daily vlogs already. Stop riding for the wrong reasons and start landing more worldies like @jordanclark14 and you might actually go somewhere.

Arnaud Marchenoir Scores 2,000,000 Point Combo On Warehouse

UNKNOWN WAREHOUSE- ("Superman" by Goldfinger playing loudly)

Funk Bros Trademark 'Having Your Head Up Your Ass'

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA- In a recent 'Funkisode', Corey and Capron Funk announced that, in addition to the recent SMX controversy, they have trademarked the phrase "Having your head up your ass".

This is quite a bold move for the brothers, with the rise in popularity of their own YouTube channel "Funk Bros" on which they post "Funkisodes" which usually comprise of shots of Corey Funk in bed, them getting fast food, promoting the SMX name, and the occasional flair.

We spoke with Capron Funk who stated: "Look, we don't want people to get the wrong idea, the only reason we trademarked the phrase is because we're the best in the world at having our heads stuck our asses, and we want people to take our obliviousness seriously. It was just to protect our own best interests. We get that some people might have an issue with this decision, which is cool, but we don't care."

Unfortunately this was all we were able to get from from Funk before shortly after, he completely disappeared up his own ass.

Quote Of The Week: "Just talk to my mom, man"

Classic! Good one Capron!

Juzzy Carter Gets Mistaken For Chanel West Coast, Accidentally Hosts Rediculousness

HOLLYWOOD, CA- In a confusing turn of events, it appears that Australian tech rider Justin "Juzzy" Carter has been mistaken to be celebrity model/television host Chanel West Coast. Carter subsequently found himself hosting an episode of Rob Dyrdek's Rediculosness, a show which West Coast co-hosts alongside Sterling "Steelo" Brim.
The show's host Rob Dyrdek stated "... I was pretty confused, Chanel wasn't using her annoying laugh as much as she usually does, she also isn't usually Australian but hey I thought she was just trying something new."
Reports say that Carter was riding a rail spot nearby the studio when producers for the show spotted him, and immediately escorted him to the set.
When we asked Juzzy about about this, he told us "Yeah mate it was hectic, one minute I'm stacking clips in this banger of a rail, then the next I'm sitting next to Eric Andre on a couch watching Rob Dyrdek say 'Oh my God!' over, and over again. I was definitely keen to be there, but I had no idea why they kept calling me 'Chanel' all the time, and by the end of it I was definitely ready to wheeze the juice somewhere else."