Nitro Circus To Replace Resi Ramp With Foam Pit

ANNAPOLIS, MD- Everyone in the scooter community knows how sick the Giganta ramp is, and Nitro Circus has just announced that this year they're going to be making it even sicker !

The Nitro headquarters have released a statement saying that they will be replacing their impact- resistant landing ramp with a more appropriate, and totally gnarly foam pit. Nitro Circus founder, Travis Pastrana went on to say:

Nitro Circus is all about progression, and we just want to help riders land stuff we've never seen before. Believe me... you're going to see some crazy sh-t go down in that GnarPit that you would never even think is possible!

The scootering rule makers (who asked to remain anonymous) said that resi totally counts, so Rwilly's 'worldies" will still count when he does them into the new foam pit.

Its refreshing to see Nitro Circus acknowledge that progression isn't all about actually landing tricks, but it's about adding another spin to that frickin double flip.

Nitro Circus said that this knew "GnarPit" will definiteley be in place for this years non-broadcasted Scootering event at the Nitro World games.

Jack Dauth: 'I Now Own Over 1000 Custom Daggers'

SYDNEY, NSW- As many of you know, Jack Dauth has been collecting daggers of all shapes and sizes for over 8 years. His collection ranks 3rd largest in Australia.  “I recon I’ve been collecting for about 8 years now”- exclaimed Jack in our interview. 

We asked what sparked his interest in daggers; “Very few feelings in life come close to caressing a finely tuned ballisong. My daggers are my most beloved possessions and are truly the only things that understand me”.  

We stuck around for an un-boxing of a new dagger Jack said is worth over $500. As Jack began opening the box he caught a glimpse of his new piece and began to rejoice, he delicately cradled his new neo-chrome ballisong “butterfly knife” then, in one motion, stood up in front of the mirror while making direct eye contact with himself in silence. After a moment that seemed like an eternity, he looked back over his should and then told us to leave.

Funk Bros Fill Trampoline With Dead Horse

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA - News has just broken that the San Diego YouTube stars "The Funk Bros" have just released a video filling their trampoline with a dead horse. The former scooter riders are facing a great deal of criticism from PETA, and everyone else on the internet for their bullshit.

We reached out to Capron for a statement, who told us:

 "Yeah, we can see why people might be a little upset but we're just having fun, at the end of the day our channel is just all about having fun. Some people might say we've turned our backs on scootering but we still wear our apex shirts in videos sometimes so they should just shut up and be thankful for what we've done for the sport. We can't wait to make more videos filling our trampoline with assorted objects."

 Capron went on to clarify that the horse came dead, and that they definiteley did not kill it.

200 Best Scooter Riders Ever

Its 2017 and we can do this shit now. We did some sabermetrics and here it is boys.

200.        Tom Mattingly

199.        Boris Germain

198.        Chandler Dunn

197.        Eric Ostrom

196.        Alexis Letellier

195.        Rob Wass

194.        Ryan Kingsley

193.        Jeff Mroz

192.        Kai Saunders

191.        Vince Kinna

190.        Matt Dibble

189.        Enzo Commeau

188.        Jack Colston

187.        Cameron Poe

186.        Matt Grippi

185.        AJ Storcella

184.        Darcy Cherry-Evans

183.        Javi Trepat

182.        Ian Herncjar

181.        Nick Darger

180.        Lambert Judith

179.        Brian Noyes

178.        Evan Yamada

177.        Ben Thomas

176.        Kyle Tolentino

175.        Maxime Legrand

174.        Scott Higgs

173.        Chris Vincent

172.        Jacob Deveney

171.        Zeidon White

170.        Cooper Elgar

169.        Bart Oskroba

168.        SAM DANGER GROVE

167.        Brandon Rowell

166.        Derek Marr

165.        Dougie Roc

164.        George Searle

163.        Jamie Hull

162.        Brad French

161.        Dan Avery

160.        Jacob D’Arezzo

159.        Chema Cardenas

158.        James Brady

157.        Serjey Noga

156.        Hershey

155.        Cameron Poe

154.        Jason Beggs

153.        Bobby Pantano

152.        Cam Ward

151.        Wyatt Brown

150.        Perry Grant

149.        Tom Cirbee

148.        Nathan Fleming

147.        Jake Sorenson

146.        Didine Terchague

145.        Tanner Markley

144.        Jon Archer

143.        Chris Hart

142.        Corey Funk

141.        Daniel Warwick

140.        Ben Grantham

139.        Nate Grant

138.        Joey Aria

137.        Brian Griffin

136.        Kiara Meade

135.        Austin Keuntz

134.        Big Ron

133.        Mohamed Alsulaibi

132.        Jared Adelson

131.        Luke Painter

130.        Luke Pickett

129.        Luis Oppel

128.        Jon Knudson

127.        Blake Bailor

126.        Jon Reyes

125.        Riley Hughes

124.        Adam Rouse

123.        Jara Soukup

122.        Lewis Crampton

121.        Cory Geisler

120.       Tyler Wheeland

119.        Michael Hohmann

118.        Jash Toy

117.        Gary Ably

116.        Noah Risser

115.        Chris Gribble

114.        Kevin Austen

113.        Matt Somers

112.        Fernando Young

111.        Aaron Brandston

110.        Luke Maffesoni

109.        James Carter

108.        Jackson Bartlett

107.        Peter Jungsberger

106.        Ty Alexander

105.        Jack McCann

104.        Nick Toigo

103.        Chris Gascoine

102.        Lewis Williams

101.        Daniel Gutendorff

100.        Brandon James

99.          Zig Short

98.          Nick Strickler

97.          Nate Wagoner

96.          Regan Thompson

95.          Ryan Gould

94.          Badger

93.          Robbie Weir

92.          Derek Seay

91.          Erik Feenstra

90.          Chris Koenig

89.          Jon Aglialaro

88.          Tom Kvilhaug

87.          Tyler Garcia

86.          Clayton Lindley

85.          Charles Padel

84.          Justin Phillips

83.          Hayden O’Connor

82.          Ryan Erwin

81.          Jon Devrind

80.          Addison Mcnaughton

79.          Joey Kish

78.          Kenny Griffin

77.          Martin Andre

76.          Richard Zelinka

75.          Keith Zadig

74.          Hunter Scheutz

73.          John Radke

72.          Tommy Christiana

71.          Bobby Rivas

70.          Henrik Palm

69.          Arnaud Marchenoir

68.          Dante Hutchinson

67.          Dalton Mazzante

66.          Archie Cole

65.          Ludo Pistat

64.          Jordan Jasa

63.          Nick Donatelli

62.          Tommy Dang

61.          Twan

60.          Jared Colwell

59.          Ryan McNamara

58.          Stefen Hefner

57.          Kyle Page

56.          Elliot Arnold

55.          Ryan Upchurch

54.          Justin Robertson

53.          Luke Burland

52.          Parrish Isaacs

51.          Graham Kimbell

50.          Reece Doezema

49.          Matt Ogle

48.          Jeremy Malott

47.          Nick Tedrick

46.          Conor Davidson

45.          Matty Ceravolo

44.          Logan Fuller

43.          Mitch Baldry

42.          Benjamin Friant

41.          Collin DaSilva

40.          Josh Young

39.          Jesse Bayes

38.          Dan Holm

37.          Remi Bouchard

36.          Stevon Wilson

35.          Dylan Williams

34.          Jesse Ikedah

33.          Flavio Pesenti

32.          Dylan Morrison

31.          Helmeri Prinen

30.          Isaac Miller

29.          Raymond Warner

28.          Capron Funk (lol)

27.          Joe Armstrong

26.          Zack Martin

25.          Dan Barrett

24.          Hunter Bechtle

23.          Jesse Macaluso

22.          Dylan Kasson

21.          Gus Rymer

20.          Cooper Klaar

19.          Monkey

18.          Billy Watts

17.          Juzzy Carter

16.          Brandon Kilbury

15.          Max Peters

14.          Jake Clark

13.          Roomet Saalik

12.          Reece Jones

11.          Matt Mckeen

10.          Jordan Clark

9.            Brendon Smith

8.            Terry Price

7.            Josh Kish

6.            Tyler Bonner

5.            Coedie Donovan

4.            Ryan Williams

3.            Dakota Schuetz

2.            Vincent Kudrna

1.            Josh Brown

'Sovereigns Of Street' Prize Pool To Be Exclusiveley Backwoods

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA - Next month the eyes of the entire scooter community will will set on Lake Havasu, Arizona for the inaugural 'Sovereigns Of Street' (SOS) Contest. The invite-only event is  projected as being the future of street scootering competition.  The event promotor, The Vault Pro Scooters, have just announced that he prizes for the top competitors will be exclusiveley Backwoods products. They have released a statement following the decision.

We here at the vault are commited to making this event the next level of street scootering competition. In order to make SOS the best it could possibly be, we've asked the riders for their input, and  have recieved an overwhelmingly positive reaction to the idea of incorporating Backwoods prizes, as opposed to the original $10,000 prize purse. We feel that having a prize that the street riders will actually want will encourage them to push the boundaries of what is possible on a scooter, and overall have a positive impact on the competition. Riders will be coming in from all over the world to compete to be THE street king, and we're excited to see whos going to be walking away with a shitload of Backwoods.

This will certainly be a historical day in scootering. We applaud The Vault for the decision they have made, and hope it sets a precedent for future events to start incorporating more scooter rider friendly prizes.

Dylan Morrison To Take On Floyd Mayweather

After countless YouTube videos, Facebook threads, and endless Instagram comments, everyone by now, in the Scooter Industry knows of Dylan Morrison and Scooter Brad's argument going past rude words, and taking the form of a fist fight (well, 2 actually).

Scooter Brad has capitalized on this, through multiple YouTube videos, and suing me.

Dylan Morrison now looks to cash in on the hysteria that surrounds this topic, by organizing a fight between Floyd Mayweather and himself.

I've spoken to an inside source, who claims this fight will be worth double the amount than the McGregor fight was worth.

My source has also claimed that Dylan is so confident that with his new found fighting ability's, he will be able to Knock Out Mayweather, within 8 rounds.

The fight is scheduled to take place on the 20th of April 2018, which is also Mr Morrison's favorite day of the year.

Mr Morrison has still not responded to my request to Jelly Wrestle with him naked, as per Scooter Brad's request.

Scooter Brad is suing me?

It seems the biggest beef in Scooter Industry right now is that of Scooter Brad vs Dylan Morrison, and it's just wonderful being able to sit back, crack open a packet of Microwave Popcorn, and watch this hot mess unfold.

Well this was the case, until I came across Brad's latest video, which personally accuses me of starting all of this beef, with an article which I supposedly published!

I couldn't believe what I was hearing!

Then I remembered the article he was talking about, and realized he was probably right.

I had a really good laugh about it!
I stopped laughing this morning though, when I was contacted by Mr Goudies lawyers.
He is asking to be compensated for assault damages caused by Mr Morrison (Including the camo "SB" hat) and the humiliation he has faced since then.

His list of demands to settle this outside of court are as follows;

• 70 Million Vietnamese Dong (roughly 3080 USD, which is reasonable I guess?).

• Turkey slapping me on camera, so he has some original content to put on to his YouTube Channel.

• A naked jelly wrestling match between Dylan Morrison and myself (I'm game, if you are Dylan 😉).

• An apology letter, where I refer to him as "The best Vlogger ever".

• 10 paid vocal training lesson's, so more of his followers can understand whatever the hell he is talking about through his damn accent.

• A copy of Sum 41's "All Killer No Filler" album.

• And last but not least, my left testicle... He wants it cut off, and framed.

You're a sick bastard Bradley Goudie, and I love it, I'll see you in court!